Friday, April 26, 2013
Dinner Table Conversation
Big Kid: So I was thinking that we ought to try out the new trampoline park, because . . .
Me: Yeah, okay.
Big Kid: . . . it's tons closer than Urban Air, and - wait, did you just agree?
Me: Yeah, I'm considering it as a venue for an event I'm helping to organize.
Little Kid: My birthday?
Me: No, an adult event.
Little Kid: GOOD. Because I'm committed to a mad scientist theme, and I don't think that would work at a trampoline park.
[Note: Little Kid's birthday is at the end of October. Another note: Both kids inherited my party-planning gene.]
Me: You know, back in my day, birthday parties didn't really HAVE themes.
Little Kid: HUH?
Me: Like, if you went to the roller rink, the theme of the party was just "roller skating."
Little Kid: Wow. You were boring when you were a kid.
Big Kid: No, she was actually WAY MORE FUN back then.
Me: Congratulations, guys. You managed to insult me equally but in totally different ways. I'm impressed.
Big Kid: No, what I mean is that you were "normal-for-a-kid fun" - which, sorry, by definition, is more fun than "adult fun" - but Nana, maybe, wasn't fun and phoned in your birthday parties.
Me: But she didn't phone them in. That's the point. NOBODY'S PARTY HAD A THEME. Unless "donkey pinata" qualifies as a theme.
Me: Huh? I said donkey.
Spouse: No, the default theme was JUST DONKEY. Donkey pinata, pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey.
Me: OOOH, you're on to something! I wonder why we were so donkey-obsessed as a culture? Carter was in office - maybe it was a backlash-against-Nixon, Democrat-versus-Republican thing? HEY, I JUST REMEMBERED: SCARY CLOWNS.
Both kids: WHAT?
Me: Occasionally, just to mix things up, your mom would spring for a really scary clown. Possibly a mime. You know, to make balloon animals and squirt water out of plastic flowers and totally creep everyone out.
Little Kid: That's horrible.
Me: No, growing up in the seventies was awesome.
Both kids: [Skeptical looks.]
Me: Okay, you just have to trust us on this.
Exhibit A, above. Exhibit B, below.