Kid Stuff: Scenes from a Winter Break

Courtesy of the six year-old:

(While watching “Horton Hears a Who” with his mother in the master bedroom.)

“Uh-oh. MASS chaos going on inside your pillow, Mom.”

Really?

“Yeah, I can hear it.”

Just like Horton?

“Yup. You have Whos. AND – WHAT’S THAT? – I HEAR GUNFIRE.”

*****

“Mom, push my hair back from my face. See? I LOOK LIKE I’M BALD.”

*****

(After pushing his older brother off of his feet, resulting in much wailing and gnashing from older brother.)

“It’s alright, Mom. He’s faking. IT WAS A PRATFALL.”

*****

And courtesy of the eleven year-old:

(Uttered at oh-dark-thirty on January 2nd, waking his mother from a dead sleep.)

“I LOST MY TOOTH!”

(No, “Mom, Mom, MOM,” accompanied by poking and prodding. Just bellowing.)

What?

“I BIT INTO SOME CAPTAIN CRUNCH, AND MY TOOTH CAME OUT IN A BALL OF CEREAL.”

Oh. Cool.

“It was blue.”

The tooth, or the ball of cereal?

“Well, the ball of cereal, initially. But – oh, hey – now the tooth has some blue on it, too. Heh, heh - Bluetooth.”