First Nebraska went to the Big Ten, and then Colorado went to the Pac-10. Now this: I went to bed an Aries, and I woke up a Pisces. What the what?
Not digging my new classification in the least, but not giving it much thought, either, because it's clearly bogus. I am many things, but empathetic I am not. I DEFINE the cold-prickly Aries. Likewise, my eleven year-old, blonde version of Mr. Spock defines Sagittarius - emotionally controlled, dispassionate and every bit as independent as his mom. Imagine how surprised he will be when the news trickles down to him that he is now a Scorpio - the sign that fit his ruled-by-emotion father and brother to a tee. Dad is now, allegedly, a Libra. Libras, I am advised, are diplomatic. My husband has a LOT of wonderful qualities - too many to list here - but, and you'll have to trust me on this, a talent for diplomacy isn't one of them. Likewise, Parker does not fit the profile of decisive Virgo. Biggest ditherer who ever lived.
What I'm digging is the whole brouhaha surrounding the change. First, why now? Is this like when Moldavia finally got around to telling the world that they really prefer to be called Moldova? At least Molda . . . MOLDOVA had an excuse: while the name thing no doubt was important to them, "get out from under Soviet oppression" probably was a WEE bit ahead of "correct nomenclature" on the to-do list. So, again, I have to ask: astrology community, why now? I read somewhere that the thirteenth sign was omitted lo these many years because of the stigma associated with the number. Have we now gotten over that stigma? Made a deal with the devil, perhaps? Is this a sign that 2011, in fact, marks the End of Days? Or is there a more practical reason why Ophiuchus got the shaft until now?
I have a few theories. With apologies to David Letterman, here are . . . THE TOP THREE REASONS WHY OPHIUCHUS GOT IGNORED UNTIL JANUARY 2011:
1. No one knew how to pronounce it.
2. No one wanted to be known as a "serpent holder." See "got the shaft," above. Admit it: you hear "the serpent holder," and you morph into Beavis and Butthead. "Heh, heh - serpent holder."
3. Concerns about a global run on Tat B Gone products, as people en masse come to the horrified realization that their tramp stamps and ankle tats ARE ALL WRONG.
This is the other thing that I am digging: the whole tat issue. I saw a semi-legitimate article on the Web today titled, "New Zodiac sign means your tattoo is wrong." I also was advised by several people that the "new Zodiac" only applies to people born in 2009 and after. I am convinced that the two issues are related. People born in 2009 and after: unlikely to have a Zodiac tattoo. You know, on account of being toddlers.
Otherwise, I can think of no logical reason for the cutoff. The Earth didn't develop a wobble in the last two years. Either we were supposed to have thirteen signs all along, or we weren't. And your birthday falls when it falls. Period, paragraph.
My prediction is that the whole controversy will blow over, and the "new Zodiac" will be relegated to the dust pile with ahead-of-their-time (and, also, just plain lousy) ideas like "new Coke." People who want to dwell on the fact that they thought that they were one thing and now they are another will choose to dwell . . . but if they didn't have this to dwell over, they would find something else, on account of how they are self-absorbed navel-gazers. The rest of the world will go on defining themselves as they always have. Also, they will continue to recognize Pluto as a planet. Because "my very excited mother just served us nine pies" is vastly superior to "my very excellent mother just served us noodles."
In my humble opinion. Or in my not-so-humble opinion; I am an Aries, after all.
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