Worst Wife in the World

Me:  So, I know you like to keep credit accounts to a minimum, but I really think that we should consider a Hyatt card.

Spouse:   [Silence, which I took to be confirmation of his anti-"a bunch of credit cards" stance.  So, naturally, I pressed on.]

Me:  If you spend $1,000 in the first three months, you get two free nights at a Category 1 through 4 hotel.  I have no idea what the categories correspond to, but I can look it up, and there's four of them, so they probably cover a lot of ground.  Anyway, I reserved the trip we already booked on my VISA, but if we pay for it with the Hyatt card at checkout, we'll hit the $1,000 right away.  And I created a Hyatt Passport account when I booked, so everything we spend at the resort this summer will earn us points anyway, and if we pay for them with the Hyatt card, you get bonus points.

Spouse:  [Still nothing.]

Me:  Point being, we can earn ANOTHER free night pretty quickly - particularly if we are consistent about using that card for all our travel expenses.  Oh, I didn't mention that part - you earn more on travel expenses than other expenses, even if they aren't Hyatt-related.  And since you like to pay all of our vacation expenses at once, having a dedicated card that only gets used for travel should make you happy.

Spouse:  [Still nothing - accompanied by glaring.]

Me:  Remember that night at the pool when Lisa was telling us how they do all of their travel through Hyatt Passport, combined with the credit card, and they go to Hawaii on it, like, ALL OF THE TIME?

Spouse:  Is Lisa the one who sells special event insurance?

[So NOW he talks, and he says . . . that?  Also, this is apparently a thing with Spouse now.  The other day, we ran into a friend of mine, and after we said our goodbyes, he asked if she was my friend who sold special event insurance.  I have no idea what he is planning, but apparently it is "special" and calls for insuring.]

Me:  What?  No.

Spouse:  Blonde?

Me:  No.  Brunette.  VERY DEFINITELY BRUNETTE.  And enough about special event insurance, seriously.  But, speaking of insurance generally, the Hyatt card comes with cancellation insurance, even if you book one of those super-cheap deals on Travelocity and such.  You know, the ones we talk ourselves out of, because one of us might have to go the hospital, or there could be a hurricane.  Now we can take advantage of those.  But only on non-Hyatt travel.  You're better off in the long run to book Hyatt stuff through Hyatt.  Point-wise.

Spouse:  [Starts to glaze over again - probably on account of how the conversation has turned away from special event insurance?]

Me:  Okay, I'm looking up resort categories, and - oh, hey, I wonder if . . . YES.  [Name of resort] is on the list.  I wonder when the [name of festival] is scheduled for this year.  Little Kid's never been, and lately Big Kid's been teasing him about it - which, if you ask me, is kinda scraping the bottom of the teasing barrel.  Oh, OH - I think that coincides with . . .  wait for it . . . pulling up the school calendar . . . YES, YES, YES!  THEY HAVE A WAIVER DAY!  Not on the day of the [name of specific thing we would want to attend] - that's on a Friday - but they get the following Monday off, so we could make a four-day weekend of it, and they would only have to miss one day of school.  We could fly in that morning -

Spouse:  [GLARING TO BEAT THE BAND.]

Me:  Or, if you have an objection to flying, I guess we could drive it -

Spouse:  [ERUPTING]  I AM TRYING TO WATCH THE GAME!!!!!

Ah, yes - the College World Series game. 

In which his alma mater is facing final elimination. 

A game on which he is attempting to focus his full attention while his wife attempts to engage him in an in-depth discussion of a trip that, maybe, his family will take IN OCTOBER.

Whoops.