1. Nine year-olds who answer the phone when you call home on the way back from the doctor and insist on conversing with you in an oddly accented robot voice. And ask "When will you be home, Mom?" and are genuinely excited about your unscheduled workday visit, circumstances notwithstanding.
2. Sweet friends who pop in, sprawl on the bed and check up on you when they know you are sick and tired.
3. Spouses who help you rationalize that (now that you have had a restorative steroid shot) sushi isn't really a weird thing to be craving on a terribly upset stomach because (a) I mean, you crave things FOR A REASON and (b) ginger. Really, really good for the stomach. So, duh.
4. Spouses who fetch you sushi.
5. Pancakes and margaritas. This is what a friend who was also having a horrid day actually had for dinner this evening. And now I really wish I had thought of it before the sushi thing.
It's now on my "near future bucket list."
6. Dogs posing in photo booths. Best. Concept. Ever. (And proof of what I have always suspected: Pomeranians are the life of the party. And I want one. A Pomeranian, not a dog photo booth. Okay, possibly I do want both. "Adopt a Pom: Photo Booth Free With Purchase" may be the best marketing gimmick EVER.)
[Link to more awesome dog photos here.]
Like, if you set out to genetically engineer the coolest couple ever - YOU MIGHT GET THEM.
8. Maybe, also, them?
Apparently, Gillian Anderson has been seen hanging out with David Duchovny a lot lately. And now his divorce is final. Never happy to see a couple split up, but if the break was inevitable . . . why NOT Mulder and Scully? Nineties me who had a standing date with her fiancé/husband to watch every episode of "X-Files" (and actually paid to see the first movie in the theater, but not the second one) WANTS TO BELIEVE.
9. MINISTRY OF SILLY WALKS is now an app. And (speaking of divorce and my geekiness) John Cleese is using proceeds from the app to pay for his divorce! Way to make the best out of a bad situation.
[This ends the geek portion of my post. And now we turn to sports.]
10. THIS. And Broadway Joe making stew with your mom and Archie Manning floating in space.
[Link to awesome Manning rap video here.]
11. Hunter Pence signs. The fact that they are clever and not mean-spirited.
The fact that he responded by turning that last one into a meme, with an image of himself posing in a sleek convertible on a showroom floor.
And the fact that we are apparently calling all clever and not mean-spirited signs of this genre "Hunter Pence signs," EVEN IF THEY ARE NOT DIRECTED AT HUNTER PENCE.
12. FSU Football's questionable decision to set up a Web chat with Jameis Winston. And insightful fan questions like:
Of all of the coaches you have played for over the years, why did you steal those crab legs?
Jameis, you went 13-0 on the football field and 2-0 in the court system. What was your overall record?
The fact that he sings "although" as part of the melody, she corrects him, "No, Daddy, sing 'although'" and he instantly knows that SHE IS ASKING HIM TO SING HARMONY. The mouth trumpet sequence, and her big finish.
(The background: the family moved to a somewhat remote part of Austria for his work. Apparently firing off fireworks in the middle of the night to celebrate every minor holiday is a thing in this remote part of Austria. (Having briefly lived in Austria - yeah, this doesn't surprise me.) Fireworks were no bueno with the little one, and so Dad suggested a sing-along as a means of distracting her.)
If you want to download the Silly Walks app, or see Jameis Winston get skewered on Twitter, just Google 'em. I'm officially tired. To paraphrase Natalie's mom in "Love Actually": "Three is a lot of embedded links, David." (For maximum effect, please read the last line in a working-class British accent.)