Personal Statement

Personal Statement

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Culturally Mormon(ish): Because Craft Closets Are So Last Year

Ripped from the pages of Southern Living's "2014 Idea House" issue, I bring you:



THE CLUTTER ROOM.

It's like a butler's pantry, except it's AN ENTIRE ROOM.  Where you can artfully display all of your serving pieces, and stage centerpieces and stuff for an upcoming party.

I.  WANT.  ONE.

Except mine wouldn't look like this, on account of how my serving pieces are by no means matchy-matchy.  So, maybe, I'm not cut out for open-concept, but I can still covet, right?  Wait:  coveting, bad.  APPRECIATING, better.

For the record, I have an almost-clutter room.  We call it "The Larder," to differentiate it from "The Pantry," and because it's easier to direct someone to The Larder than "that wall of floor-to-ceiling 12-inch-deep cabinets that we put between the refrigerator and the door to the den because otherwise that wall would be useless space."  Technically, it's NOT a larder, because larders (as I understand them) are areas for storing food in relatively cool and dry conditions, so basically . . they're pantries.  But, whatever.  The top half of The Larder is supposed to be mine, and I do have a lot of stuff in there (dishes that we don't use that often, a punch bowl, a cookie jar shaped like a pig - like I said, NOT MATCHY-MATCHY) - stuff that you would commonly store in a butler's pantry, but, again, more than one thing called a pantry = overly confusing to male members of the household (big and small).  However, Spouse has overtaken some of "my" space and uses it as a place to hide tortilla chips, Girl Scout Cookies and other food items that he doesn't wish to share with the boys.  I think his rationale is that the place where Mom stores her punch bowl is probably the LAST place that young males would be prone to visit.  I proclaim this rationale sound.  Also, it occurs to me that, thanks to Spouse, MAYBE THE LARDER IS A LARDER AFTER ALL.

The bottom of The Larder is chock-full of pet supplies (an entire shoebox-sized plastic bin of dog bandanas!), with random stuff like spare light switch covers and cabinet knobs mixed in.  Again, not attractive, best kept hidden behind closed doors, but so grateful for the space.

When we redid the kitchen (incorporating The Official Pantry), The Hallway Broom Closet Formerly Known as The Pantry became my craft closet:




It's no Clutter Room - but only on account of the fact, that technically, it's not a room.  Any room of mind tends to be a "clutter room."

I'd like to think it's part of my charm.

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