Personal Statement

Personal Statement

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Procrastination-Fueled Philanthropy

I have always wondered about THOSE women - the ones who casually toss the ginormous, sorta pricey toy under the tree at Junior League, or Woman's Club, or similar.  Did they benefit from a toy donation drive as a child and are now eager to pay it forward?  Are they childless and looking for opportunities to toy-shop?  Or childless and clueless to the fact that a considerable number of perfectly good toys are sold at a ten-dollar price point?  Are they actively trying to show up persons such as myself, who tend to gravitate toward the ten-dollar price point items?  Are they, perhaps, the heir to the Hasbro fortune?  Was their maiden name Mattel?

I can now add another possible scenario to the list.  Perhaps - and I'm just spit-balling here - Ms. Philanthropy procured a toy for her child at Toys R Us last Christmas, in her capacity as Santa's Official Helper, only to find it on sale at Target a few days later.  So she bought the item a second time, intending to return her first purchase - except that a return trip to Toys R Us proved more inconvenient than usual, in large part because Ms. Philanthropy found herself residing in a temporary apartment in the OPPOSITE direction from the Toys R Us.  So Purchase #1 hung around in her car trunk for awhile, until Mr. Philanthropy got tired of seeing it in there and threw it into a box in the garage of the temporary apartment.  Said box faded into the background with all of the other moving boxes, and - five months after Christmas - made the move back home.  Some time in Month 7, Purchase #1 resurfaced, sans receipt, and got thrown back into Ms. Philanthropy's trunk.  In Month 9,  it was discovered by Ms. Philanthropy's then-seven year-old son, who wanted to know why a duplicate of a 2011-era Santa item was in Ms. Philanthropy's trunk in the third quarter of 2012.  Ms. Philanthropy's on-the-fly answer:  "Well, I bought it for you, but then Santa brought you one, so I put mine up to give to charity.  And I am storing it in my trunk so I will be sure to have it on hand when I go to the Junior  League general membership meeting in December."

And that is how I happened to make a very generous donation of a Fisher-Price Imaginext Joker's Funhouse to the Junior League of Fort Worth today.  Ladies of JLFW, please do not mistake my incompetence as anything other than what it is.  I was not trying to one-up anyone -  I JUST WANTED THE DAMNED THING OUT OF MY TRUNK.

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