The Little Kid experienced a day of jubilee on Monday (interviewed by the local news, won a pair of new running shoes in an essay contest). His television debut happened to coincide with the BCS Championship game, so we did what any good parents would do - tape the news so we could watch the game. I mean (ahem) "tape the news so we would be sure not to miss seeing our precious child." At the last minute, though, the Big Kid convinced me to switch over from the football game (because, apparently, he is a more supportive parent than either Spouse or me). WHEN I CHANGED CHANNELS, AUBURN HAD THE GAME WELL IN HAND. AND I WAS WELL PLEASED, BECAUSE I WAS CHEERING FOR AUBURN. (Why? Because I like a good underdog story. And I don't like Nick Saban. No, that's not a non sequitur. Oh, and you can throw in the fact that his daughter scares me. Okay, NOW I'm getting a little far afield.)
I watched my kid. I shared the video on Facebook. I responded to friend's comments about my kid. And then, finally, I turned back to ESPN, and - WHAT THE WHAT? How did Florida State get ahead? EVERYTHING WAS JUST FINE IN PASADENA WHEN I LEFT IT. Immediately, I began cursing my decision to change channels, because obviously my decision to do so influenced the course of the game. And then I had to decide: what now? Continue to watch, because me watching (again, OBVIOUSLY) translates into "Auburn being ahead" and me NOT watching translates into "Auburn falling behind"? Or change the channel, on the theory that one channel change reversed the course of human history, so another channel change would offset that change.
Please tell me that other rational people think this way when they watch sporting events.
In the end, I didn't have to decide, because the cat decided for me. Well, his butt did. One of the older cat's hidden talents is to sit on the remote just so, changing the channel to the Direct TV Customer Information Channel. Seriously, IT'S ALWAYS THE CUSTOMER INFORMATION CHANNEL. His butt hones in on the "1" button and pushes that button only, EVERY TIME. I cannot explain it - I merely report it.
Something distracted me, and I didn't immediately pick up on the fact that the channel had changed until I noticed that the volume had increased, and someone was speaking who was waaaaaaay too excited about the subject matter, and I realized that Barkley had worked his DVR remote butt mojo, and I panicked. Until I switched back to ESPN and learned that Auburn was, once again, ahead.
And, also, crud. Because now what do I have to do to preserve the lead? Stand pat? Channel surf? Coax my Maine Coon to roll around on the remote again?
While I was pondering my options, Auburn managed to lose the game. Okay, scratch that - FSU won, fair and square. And I quickly made peace with said victory, because I remembered that FSU's win put an end to an era of SEC BCS domination, and the only thing that I like better than an underdog win is a good dynasty bust. And, also, I kind of like Jameis Winston, or certain aspects of the idea of Jameis Winston (freshman, youngest Heisman winner in history, two-sport athlete, drafted by the Texas Rangers). And then someone held up a "Happy birthday, Jameis" sign in the crowd, and I remembered from the Heisman ceremony that his birthday did, in fact, coincide with the BCS Championship game, and that put me over the top, because people should win things on their birthdays.
Again - PLEASE tell me that other rational people think this way when they watch sporting events. Because I'm not likely to change anytime soon, and I really would prefer not to think that I'm crazy.