Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Addition to the Swan Candleholder List
More words that I never thought I would utter in sequence:
NO. Nipples are NOT invited to the Gun Show.
(Little Kid is fascinated by the concept of nipples - his own, thankfully. I think he has figured out that they have no function on him - other than to gross his brother out. As soon as he realized that the word is high up there on Big Kid's "cringe list," he started looking for ways to drop it into conversation. Being nine, he's not terribly subtle, and most times he uses the word completely without context, but he has found that the cringe factor is amplified if he says the word and simultaneously raises his shirt to provide a visual reference. For this reason, "nipple exposure," along with twerking, is on the list of behaviors we are trying to eradicate in 2014.
Little Kid has accepted the challenge and, apparently, has made it his mission to slip his nipples in when we least expect it. Hence: "Want to see the Gun Show?" Once he had his brother's and my attention, he moved as if to showcase his biceps - but this was just a feint, immediately followed by a quick raise of the t-shirt and a shout of "HA! NIPPLES!"
Prompting ME to advise him that the Gun Show was strictly an all- bicep, zero-nipple affair.)