Remember . . . He's Only Ten

I can't stress that point enough. Granted, he's more perceptive than some, but - he's ten.

One more time before you read any further - HE'S TEN.

Okay . . . read on.

Because my child is ten: (1) he doesn't remember a world where there was a World Trade Center, or where we weren't searching for Bin Laden; (2) he doesn't have a complete grasp of what 9/11 was all about; (3) he has a rather irreverent sense of humor; and (4) he's just generally clueless. (4) is the end-all, be-all gap filler.

I'm done with the disclaimers now.

Found this in his take-home folder. Based on the structure of what he wrote, I am guessing that the assignment was to answer "who/what/when/where" questions vis-a-vis a theoretical "event" and then write a letter to someone inviting them to said event. Date on the paper is 9/8/10, so, you know, 9/11 was probably at the forefront of his mind.

Whoops - just slipped in another disclaimer, didn't I?

Front of the page reads as follows (my annotations are in Italics):

9-11 Dance Party (ummm, okay, that's a wee bit unstable)
Where: Sundance Square
What: Dance Party (yeah, we've established that - you left out the 9/11 part this time, which might be a reasonably good PR move . . . .)
When: Friday, September tenth at 7 p.m. (so it's a 9/11 dance party on . . . 9/10?)
There will be a slide show with music starting at 8:30! (Does a 9/11 slide show really get an exclamation point? And what kind of music? Given that we are talking about a ten year-old, visions of a slide show consisting of photos of panicked people fleeing from buildings, synched to "The Cupid Shuffle," come to mind.)
If you have any photos (of 9-11), bring them to me in Sundance at 3:00 p.m. They will be turned into slides and placed in the show.

And on the back:

Dear Raven, (Yes, Connor has a - male - classmate named Raven. Yes, his mom is artistic - she's an award-winning floral designer, actually. So we can forgive her "Raven," can't we?)
I am throwing a 9-11 dance party! (again with the exclamation point!)
It is tonight at Sundance Square. Be there by 7 p.m. There will be a slide show of pictures from 9-11 at 8:30. If you have any pictures from 9-11 bring them to Sundance Square at 3:00. (Because we expect ten year-olds to have a lot of 9/11 photos lying around? I watched 9/11 happen live, because I was home with Connor, who had a bad respiratory infection . . . and I distinctly remember turning on the news and seeing the second airplane slam into the building right around the time that he started wailing . . . from his crib. It's possible that he had a camera-shaped toy at the time - a Sassy teether, maybe? - but nothing with the capacity to take actual pictures. I'm not 100% sure, but I'm guessing that his classmates were similarly hamstrung.)
I will then put them in the slide show. R.S.V.P. with me at (555) 555-5555. (Okay, clearly we watch entirely too much TV if we understand the 555 thing.)

Oh, dear heavens. There's no grade or other comment on the page. Most likely, the teacher was stunned into silence. And I probably shouldn't be posting this - no doubt, his insensitivity to the plight of 9/11 victims, widows and orphans will come to haunt him in a future senatorial campaign. Another thing to complain about to the therapist, right?