Personal Statement

Personal Statement

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Culturally Mormon(ish)

I'm fascinated by Mormons.  Specifically, I'm fascinated by:

LDS "mommy" and lifestyle bloggers; and

The LDS ballroom dancers on "So You Think You Can Dance."

(Highly scientific) conclusions (okay, based on casual observation of a sampling of less than 100 Mormons, of admittedly rather specific types, but, still):
  1. Mormons have flawless skin.  This is actually an acknowledged and accepted thing (referred to as the "Mormon glow").  (I want to have flawless skin!  Clarification:  I want to have flawless skin again.  I have always been blessed with unblemished skin, but lately it's looking older and tired-er than I would like.)
  2. Mormons like to get their DIY on.  And they are darned good at it.  (I like to get my DIY on!  And I'm darned good at it, too!)
  3. Mormons aren't perfect angels.  (They use words like "damn" and "crap" on their blogs!  I want to use those words on my blog - although I usually don't.  But I just did!)
So, after returning from our summer vacation several pounds heavier and looking decidedly un-Mormon in the facial area, I decided that I needed to kick added sugar and bread products to the curb, along with (at least temporarily) caffeine and alcohol.  I also returned from summer vacation to a mountain of Vacation Bible School-related projects (more on those in another post), necessitating several late nights in a row.  I vowed to treat myself with a spa night at the end of "VBS H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks Week," and for no particular reason (well, other than the fact that I'm cheap) decided to consult Pinterest and other sources for DIY scrubs and facial masks.  And then I got irritated with Facebook (more specifically, with people who think Facebook is all about them and actually go on record that no one should EVER post anything that they deem remotely offensive, annoying or not-interesting-enough).  So I got off Facebook.

For a few days, I thought of the foregoing in general terms as a full-body-and-mind detox.  And then, while I was watching a SYTYCD episode we missed while on vacay, it hit me:  all of my behavioral choices were decidedly Mormon.

I was drinking water and fruit juice, to the exclusion of Coke, coffee and wine.

I was putting lots of healthy, and homemade, food into my body.

I was taking care of the outside of my body, too - on the cheap, and DIY.

I was staying away from Facebook (which, let's face it, can be a bit of a mutual whine-fest) in favor of Instagram and Pinterest - Web sites which tend to be more about sharing beauty, and joy, and helpful information.

While on Facebook sabbatical, I was throwing my free time into crafting - FOR MY CHURCH.

So I announced to Spouse, apropos of nothing:

"I have decided to embrace secular Mormonism."

Then I self-corrected (and then some):

"Um, but not entirely.  I'm going to be more Mormon-ish.  Mormon-esque?  Is there such a thing as reform Mormonism?  Whatever.  I don't share their religious views - definitely still Methodist - but I want to adopt some of the more secular aspects of their culture, but I don't want to be married to them, either.  Like, I still may have caffeine or alcohol, but only occasionally, and I'll make smart choices like ordering a glass of red wine instead of a margarita.  Or, if I HAVE a margarita, I'll be one of those annoying people who asks if the margaritas are made with fresh lime juice instead of a mix."

Spouse gave me that look that says "you're morphing into that combination of Leslie Mann's character in 'This is 40' and Mindy Kaling's character in 'Mindy Project,' which really bugs the crud out of me."

I ignored him - and proceeded to the kitchen to make myself a healthy smoothie.

I'll be reporting on my progress in subsequent posts.


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