"Mom, you need to do check my homework A-S-S. Wait; that's not right. What's the thing that people spell that starts with A-S? OH. A-S-A-P. You need to do that for me A-S-A-P."
[Upon being reminded by his mom that his essay about the winter holidays was supposed to be heavy on adjectives] "I said CHRISTMAS Eve, Mom. Christmas is an adjective in that sentence. Which Eve? CHRISTMAS Eve. Not New Year's Eve, or Easter Eve, or Birthday Eve, or Tuesday Eve. CHRISTMAS. Okay, here's one: 'My uncles bought me righteous presents.' Does 'righteous' work for you? BECAUSE 'RIGHTEOUS' IS A RIGHTEOUS ADJECTIVE."
[Yes, I am raising a small surfer dude. He is number two in a series.]
[Upon his mom confirming that his homework for the evening was complete] "PUH-EACE! I'M OUT!"
God love him.