It recently occurred to me that the majority of boys who I had crushes on back in the day (the ones who never seemed to return the favor, you know?) are, well, sort of bald. Or balding. Less “shaved head/macho” bald, more “male pattern baldness” bald. And, yes, it’s totally immature, but, yes, it is somehow comforting to know that they are thinning on top. Not because I wished a receding hairline on any of them – this is not a revenge thing. But, in my mind’s eye, pre-Facebook, everyone who I thought was cute back in the day looked exactly as they did, back in the day. Like they were all frozen in time. Meanwhile, I’m getting older. Wrinkles? Check. Tendency to retain weight around my middle? Yup. Gray hair? Nope. Those suckers are white as white can be.
So it’s kind of nice to know that we are all age-appropriate. And to compare “men from my past” to my own spouse (whose hair is NOT thinning – ask him, and he will tell you) and confirm that he’s right where he ought to be, as well (maybe even ahead of the curve in the hair-retention department – and pretty gosh-darned studly, to boot).
Yes, I SAID that it was immature. But also, ultimately, human, I think? No doubt the guys who had crushes on me look at my page and think, “Wow. MA-TRON-LY. Dodged a bullet there, for sure. I should go kiss my wife.”
Facebook – healing old elementary and middle school wounds since 2004.