Personal Statement

Personal Statement

Monday, February 28, 2011

Kid Stuff: Cross My . . . What?

It's time to play . . . THE FAMILY FEUD!   The category:  "Phrases That You Don't Hear in a Non-Boy Household."

Here's my contribution:  "My butt crack was crossed the entire time."

And . . . here's the explanation.  Parker was indulging himself in the always fun game - favored by little siblings of both genders, I believe - of "Repeat Everything Big Sib Says And Drive Him Crazy In The Process."  Except that Connor was ready for him, grabbed his hands (so that Parker couldn't cross his fingers) and chose his phrases very carefully:

Connor:   "Connor is awesome."

Parker:  "Connor is awesome."

Connor:  "Connor gets ALL of my allowance this week."

Parker:  "Connor gets ALL of my allowance this week."

Connor:  "Ha, ha - tricked you!  Now you have to give me your allowance.  And you can't get out of it, because I was holding your hands, so I KNOW that you weren't crossing your fingers."

Parker:  "You're right.  I wasn't.  BUT I WAS CROSSING MY BUTT CRACK."

Now, right there, you've got one of the funniest, most absurdist and boy-centric conversations of all time - but wait, there's more:

Connor (intrigued, and the whole allowance thing totally forgotten):  "Really?  You can DO that?"

Parker:  "Yup.  It's easy."

Connor (genuinely interested):  "How?  Tell me."

They started talking in low tones at this point, so, regrettably, I cannot share with you Parker's method for crossing his butt crack (patent pending).  But I do believe that, if we truly were playing "the Feud," my answer would top the board . . . .

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