Friday, February 11, 2011
Things I'm Digging: Cap'n Wacky, Reviewer of Creepy Valentines
So I was looking for a Valentine's-themed Batman image for my Facebook profile, and I came across this on Cap'n Wacky's Web site:
Hello, I'm Batman.
When I was just a child, my parents were murdered right in front of my eyes. I made a solemn vow that day to commit my life to fighting crime. I've sacrificed my childhood and any efforts toward personal enjoyment. My nights are spent in deadly combat with everything from common street thugs to grotesque psychopaths. What little sleep I ever get is usually interupted by horrible nightmares and my waking up soaked in sweat. I fight a war that can never be won. I strive toward a goal that can never be reached. I am haunted. I am relentless. I am tortured.
Won't you be my valentine?
Hee, hee, hee. I kept reading . . . and kept laughing. Funny and/or creepy Valentine's accompanied by hilarious and/or snarky text, courtesy o' Cap'n Wacky. Another example:
But then, he said lots of things, didn't he?
He said he had connections in all the magazines. He said I had that special something. He said these pictures could really open up doors for me. He said if I just showed a little more skin it would make the pictures so much easier to sell. He said everything he needed to, and I believed him.
Hey, I thought I could trust a guy who wears more lipstick than I do.
I think I'm a fan.