Personal Statement

Personal Statement

Monday, February 7, 2011

Kid Stuff: Six Year-Old Trash Talk

When the Smaller Fry plays Wii (generally, a LEGO game, or something from the Sports Resort suite), he provides running commentary.  Highly amusing running commentary.

Here's an example:

"Okay, people, LET'S DO THIS THING.  I'm ready.  Are you ready?  Because. I. AM. READY."

[Game commences.]

"BOOM.  Did you see that?  Yeah, that.  JUST.  HAPPENED."

[Okay, I already confessed to letting the kids see "Talladega Nights."  We fast-forward through the bad parts, promise.]

"You so are going down.  Do you hear me?  YOU'RE.  GOING.  DOWN.  You want a piece of me?  Can't have one.  BOOYAH!  How 'bout them apples?"

[And then we get to my favorite.]


Okay, now, calm yourselves, people.  This is NOT a "Die Hard" reference.  It is one of Alvin's lines from "Alvin and the Chipmunks."  A line that, no doubt, is an homage to "Die Hard," but the important thing is that PARKER IS REPEATING WHAT A CHIPMUNK SAID, WITH ZERO FRAME OF REFERENCE AS TO THE SOURCE MATERIAL.

Except that he likes to insert a dramatic pause between the "yay" and the "Mamacita," which means that visitors who are unfamiliar with Alvin hear the first three words and brace themselves for the F bomb that never comes.

It's quite amazing, really - the way that he absorbs pieces of pop culture like a little sponge and then plugs them into their proper context.  It is this talent, among other things, that makes me wonder if we don't have a future thespian on our hands.

And, if he doesn't go into the theater, clearly he has the enthusiasm to prep the crowd at a Conan taping or sporting event . . . .

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