Personal Statement

Personal Statement

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Fun on the Interwebs: Warming Glow

I recently discovered Warming Glow, self-described as "a blog dedicated to the best and worst of television programming. Mostly the worst."  I forget how I found it, actually, but once I found it I was hooked.  One of my favorite features?  "Forgotten Classics":  video clips and synopses of the worst television programming ever made.

A couple of Forgotten Classics for your consideration:

1.  A 1999 Disney Channel movie called "The Thirteenth Year," official synopsis of which is as follows:

A boy, adopted by a loving family after finding him caught in a fisherman’s net as a baby, grows up to realize the true reason of his talent as a star junior high competitive swimmer: he is actually a male mermaid, or a “mer-man”. Faced with a tough decision to pursue his true lineage or stay with his friends on land, he realizes that his definition of “family” might not be as traditional as he thought.

If that isn't enough to suck you in, (a) the film features Dave Coulier, and (b) a young Kristen Stewart has a cameo.  According to WG, "Stewart . . . captivates in her one scene as Girl in Fountain Line. You can really believe she’s waiting in line to drink from a water fountain. Dynamite contribution."

Snarky, huh?  Gosh, I love snarky.

2.  A 1990's British sitcom titled "Heil Honey I'm Home."  The basic plot:  Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun move in next door to a Jewish couple, and hilarious hijinks ensue.  I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP, AND NEITHER ARE THE FOLKS AT WG.  The show lasted one episode . . . which, I do believe, was one episode too many.

A more recent WG post also attracted my attention, in light of my recent reminiscing about the Star Wars Holiday Special.  Title of the post:  "The Star Wars Holiday Special in Five Minutes."  Embedded in said post:  a video clip condensing the two-hour debacle into (actually a little over) five minutes.  I watched it, and having had the opportunity to refresh my recollection I would like to note the following, supplemental to my prior SWHS post:
1.  I forgot that they actually talked Harrison Ford and Mark Hamill into making appearances.  No doubt they do their best to forget this fact as well. 
2.  Someone appears to have applied Mark Hamill's pancake makeup with a grouting trowel.  Topping it off with blush and . . . um, mascara?
3.  BEA ARTHUR!  I forgot Bea Arthur.  She's in the cantina scene.
4.  Also in the special:  JEFFERSON STARSHIP.  Honest to Betsy, they are in there - and, yes, they perform.
5.  Speaking of musical performances:  Carrie Fisher's singing voice isn't as bad as I thought.  She's pretty okay, actually.  I remember at the time feeling intensely embarrassed for her, but I now realize that that wasn't because of her singing; I felt bad for her for having to do the show at all. 
6.  Chewbacca's child, in close-ups, looks EXACTLY like one of the sponge monkeys from those Quizno's ads.
I appreciate WG's introductory comments, reprinted below:
The Star Wars Holiday Special aired in 1978 (when I was three months old), so I’ve obviously never seen it. However, like Vietnam or the Holocaust, I’ve long heard tales from survivors about how terrible it was. And judging by this five-minute condensed version (via BuzzFeed), it would be tough to overstate its crappiness.
Yes, WG, I am a SWHS survivor, and nothing that you have heard can possibly overstate just how awful of an experience it was.
One final point in WG's favor:  Fridays, apparently, are "Corgi Fridays."  Featuring LOLcat-type photos of Corgis.  Some of the Corgis actually look like Dorgis, and as a Dorgi mom I got oddly amped about this.
I may have to add Corgi Friday to my weekly schedule . . . .

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