Personal Statement

Personal Statement

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Countdown to the New Old House: Spouse and I Have "The Talk"

Yesterday, I had to initiate "The Talk" with Spouse.  You know, the one that starts with:

"I think that we need to go to IKEA."

Actually, I was much smoother than that.  I opened with:

"Given that all of the furniture is out of the house, and the insurance company is repainting every room, there's never going to be a better time to re-do the boys' rooms."

Do you like the way that I used his "given that _______, there's never going to be a better time to ______" construct against him?  What goes around, comes around.

I continued:

"I mean, C will be 13 in a few months, and PJ's not a baby anymore - it's probably time."

Spouse nodded and acknowledged that C actually had placed a request to him for more grown-up bedding, which is a sign of real desperation, because, seriously, what 12-year-old boy initiates conversations about home decor with his father?

"Right.  And they both are going to need area rugs.  And I think we can agree that low pile rugs are best, in terms of cleaning up cat yak and whatnot."

Spouse nodded again.

"So I've been looking at kid-friendly rugs when I'm out, and most of the ones that I see in stores are shag or other high pile - not vacuum cleaner- or pet-friendly.  Which makes me wonder if IKEA wouldn't be a good option."

Spouse stopped nodding.

"Okay, hear me out.  We could get rugs at a reasonable price point, and new duvet covers for C, and frames for new art, and some of those floating shelves for PJ's room, because your aunt's prize-winning quilt-as-room-decor no longer cuts it, since PJ has made it clear that the cowboy theme has to go.  So the quilt needs to go into storage and the quilt rack can be replaced with a floating shelf.  And we can probably get away with taking a car, as opposed to taking a truck, because we're just buying little stuff.  Oh, except for the rugs.  Okay, we're gonna need the truck.  BUT NO FURNITURE.  FURNITURE WILL NOT BE INVOLVED.  We won't even have to step foot into the warehouse - showroom all of the way.  AND NO ASSEMBLY."

Spouse stared at me for a long time - and then nodded once.

Yaaaaaaay.  Swedish meatballs and lingonberry jam in my future.

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