Personal Statement

Personal Statement

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Update on Superman's Nipples and Lowe's-pocalypse 2012

This post actually has nothing to do with Superman's nipples, but I got your attention, didn't I?  I failed to recount a funny part of PJ's "Justice League:  Doom" movie review:

Wonder Woman says the H word.  You know, like, H-E-double-hockey-sticks.  But in the Cartoon Network show, you learn that her dad is Hades, the lord of the Underworld.  So H-E-double-hockey-sticks is where her dad lives, so it's kind of okay that she says that.  Although usually she just calls it Tartarus.

In other news, Spouse just called to advise me that my switch plate covers arrived.

Me:  No, honey, they must be calling about something else, because I don't have any switch plates on order.  I mean, I did, but then we cancelled that order, and then they couldn't figure out how to re-order them, so I'm only waiting on cabinet hardware, pendant lights and a disposal.

Spouse:  Perhaps you don't understand.  No one called.  They shipped.  I am standing here, HOLDING IN MY HANDS, switch plate covers.  Actually, an outlet cover and two switch plate covers.  And they look like something that you would buy.

Me:  Specifically?

Spouse:  Kind of a hammered bronze?

Me:  Yup.  Those would definitely be the items that I was no longer supposed to receive in the mail.

Now trying to decide what happened:  Did all of my cancelled special orders get processed, such that I will be receiving multiples of cabinet handles and light fixtures?  I suppose it doesn't matter, because everything else was supposed to ship to the store, so if multiples arrive, I will simply point out that I only am entitled to depart for the parking lot with half of the bounty.  But, theoretically, I was credited for the cost of the hammered bronze wall covers . . . which were shipped to me, anyway.  If Lowe's does not pick up on its mistake, am I morally obligated to tell them that I have been unjustly enriched?  I could argue that the value of the wall covers partially offset the hours of time that I spent trying to buy them and then trying to un-buy them.  Perhaps I'm entitled to retain the wall covers on an equitable theory?  Mainly, I'm concerned that if I try to explain what happened to someone at Lowe's, IT WILL ACTUALLY MAKE THEIR HEAD EXPLODE.  Mine is feeling kind of pre-explode-ish just as I type this.  And remember that these are the people who insisted on handing me an actual, factual penny after they reversed my credit card transaction.  Actually, I have no issue with the people of Lowe's - just the computer system to which they are enslaved.  Given experiences to date, I think that there is a high probability that the Lowe's computer would spontaneously combust if I tried to pay for my ill-gotten wall covers.  Which might actually benefit mankind a little bit. So I'm on the fence.

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