(When asked if his landscape art was one of the pieces displayed in the school hallway) "No, mine's the only one not in the hall. The art teacher ran out of room, so she had to send mine to the district art fair." (Either we are raising an incredibly humble child, or he really has no idea how these things work.)
"Mom, can I be your protege?"
"If I ask you who you hate, and you say ME, that means that you like me. If you say you LIKE me, it means that you HATE me. It's called reverse psychology."
"If you started to chicken out of taking the Underground Railroad, Harriet Tubman would pull a gun on you." (This, ladies and gents, is what he took away from his library book about Ms.Tubman. Not that she led 300-plus folks to slavery, or lived to a ridiculously old age for her time period and given her life experiences. No, the important thing to know about Harriet Tubman is that SHE PACKED HEAT.)