Personal Statement

Personal Statement

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Fun on the Interwebs: Hot Sports Opinions About Vegetable Gardening

I am bound and determined to find a use for the large area of "yard" (I use that term loosely) behind our carriage house. Why someone chose to build our carriage house some twelve feet from the property line (when building up to the property line is totally kosher per our deed restrictions) is beyond me. I would take them out to the woodshed - or to the carriage house, since we don't have a woodshed - but given that our house was constructed in the Twenties, I doubt that "someone" is still around (and if they are around, they're quite old, and while I'm frustrated by their decisionmaking I don't think I'm "beat up an old dude" frustrated).

Current plan is to put down black plastic to choke out the weeds between the back of the carriage house and the utility easement (out of sight, out of mind), then weed like crazy, then put down landscape fabric and soil, and then - what? Ground cover? No, I want to actually get use out of the space back there. Would love to have a vegetable garden. Problem is that it's mottled shade back there. So I Googled "shade and vegetables" and was promptly informed that, while vegetables that grow from a flower (like tomatoes) crave sun, leafy vegetables actually prefer partial shade. Excellent! I can grow greens behind that bad boy.

As I waded through the search results to get more information, I came across a bulletin board thread, "Vegetables that grow in partial shade (Dallas area)." Clicked on it, and imagine my surprise when I was taken to a University of Texas athletics fan site, of the ilk that my husband subscribes to. (There are several similar sites -,, etc., etc. I refer to them as bull-etin boards, as lots of bull tends to get thrown about.)

First post said:

Anybody have any particular luck with vegetables that do okay in a good amount of partial shade. I am a pretty crappy gardener but I do okay with herbs, peppers and tomatoes. There is a shady part of the garden that I may put something in. Anybody have any luck with anything in particular?

Next post:

What kind of gay a** thread is this!?!? My kind! Here's something I found . . . .

What followed was a VERY SPIRITED DISCUSSION - among what I gather are several heterosexual men - about organic vegetable gardening. I could not stop reading. First off, the information was actually helpful. Second, I was imagining my husband getting wrapped up in a discussion about gardening on a college athletics Web site. It wasn't that much of a stretch, actually. The guys who frequent these sites tend to be pretty strongly opinionated, and in my experience guys who are strongly opinionated about one topic . . . tend to be strongly opinionated about LOTS of topics.

String ended with:

Go to have some kick a** heirloom gmo s***..all natural and organic...gonna plant me some blue podded shelling peas today...woohoo!

Woohoo, indeed. I may have to get myself some kick a** heirloom radishes to grow alongside my lettuce. Even though I'm not a fan of radishes. Don't understand the point of them, actually. They add color, but that's about it. Kind of a waste of space. Hey, what do you know? I have hot sports opinions about radishes.

Maybe I should start contributing to a bull-etin board.

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