Don’t get me wrong, little boy. I “Love You Like Mad.” I loved you when you were in my tummy, when our “Two Hearts Beat as One.” And then I saw your “Babyface” for “The First Time” and fell in love with you all over again.
But, in parenting, “Some Days Are Better Than Others.” Some days, you feel like you’re “Running to Stand Still” – just barely keeping up with the “Speed of Life.” Saturdays, for example. On Saturdays we have so many “Things to Make and Do,” you know? Saturday mornings, in particular, are a blur – there are soccer games to make (usually with “Seconds” to spare) and birthday presents to buy. Girl birthday presents are the worst. Thanks to you and your brother, I’m completely out of touch – your little female classmate, whose party starts in fifteen minutes, well, “She’s a Mystery to Me,” and it’s “All Because of You.” I’ve been standing right here, in the middle of the Barbie aisle, for what seems like an eternity, and “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.”
So, “In a Little While,” after my duties as your social secretary are complete, “Please” have a little “Mercy” on your poor mom and willingly comply with my request that you “Get on Your Boots” and fill your backpack with some “Stories for Boys” and other temporary amusements to take to Nana and Granddad’s. It’s “Saturday Night,” after all. And your dad and I need to pull a joint “Disappearing Act.” Maybe do some “Slow Dancing,” possibly at a “Discotheque.” Do discos still exist? Do they still call them discos? Not sure, but I’d like to find out. Or maybe we could head downtown, take in some “Stand Up Comedy.”
Here’s the skinny, kid: “I’ll Go Crazy If I Don’t Go Crazy Tonight.” So don’t get your feelings hurt if I do a little happy dance when your Nana arrives to take you to her house, and blurt out “Hallellujah Here She Comes.” (We’re “Fortunate Son” that your grandparents live so close.) I wish I was above all that, but sometimes it’s best to “Surrender” and admit that, despite your best efforts to be parenting superheroes, you’re just “A Man and a Woman,” occasionally needing a moment (or two) to relax and recharge.
You can go “A Day Without Me,” I promise. We won’t make you wait that long, though. We’ll be by to claim you and take you back to “Your Blue Room” before the clock strikes “11 O’Clock Tick Tock.” Trust me, we’ll push it to the last second – a true “Race Against Time” – and, with our questionable luck, we’ll hit every “Red Light.” But, come to claim you in a timely fashion, we will, by hook or by crook. And, come “Tomorrow” morning, we’ll find it a lot easier to “Breathe” as we rise to face “Another Day.” We’ll wake up “With a Shout” and exclaim that it’s a “Beautiful Day” – far preferable to Mom shaking Dad awake with a terse, “Wake Up Dead Man,” and Dad heading to the shower muttering “Sunday Bloody Sunday.”
Thank you for understanding. You really are the “Sweetest Thing.” When you “Smile” at me sometimes, I just melt – it’s like I’m “Staring at the Sun.” It’s entirely possible that we’ll spend part of our evening – a big part of it – talking about you and your brother. And find ourselves missing you and wondering what you are up to.
But we’re not canceling Date Night, not by a long shot. Nothing is more rejuvenating to the soul of a frazzled parent – not even a double helping of “Xanax and Wine.”