Personal Statement

Personal Statement

Monday, May 23, 2011

Kid Stuff: Limo Lunch

Connor and Parker collectively sold fifty (actually, fifty two) units of cookie dough as part of the PTA fundraiser, entitling them each to a lunchtime limo ride to CiCi's Pizza.

They would like me to inform the blogosphere that:

1) The limo was a stretch Hummer.

2) They look darn good riding in a stretch Hummer.

3) The interior of the stretch Hummer was AAAAAAAAAAAAAAWESOME. (I have to agree that this is about as boy-friendly of a limo as you could dream up. This photo looks like a still from Star Wars.)

I believe that there were twelve or so kids in all who went on the CiCi's excursion - but I am advised that my six year-old was the life of the party.

(I did not attend the pizza lunch, as it was only open to parents who had gotten their background checks through the school district.  I never got around to getting a background check this year, because getting a background check renders one eligible for PTA service, and PTA service leads to madness.  Seriously.  I have sworn off PTA for health reasons - mental health reasons.  Also, how sad of a commentary on our society that background checks are required of parent volunteers?

The send-home said that "parents cannot eat at CiCi's without a district background check."  Um, PTA powers-that-be (of which I am no longer one - happy, happy, joy, joy)?  I respect that you can prohibit me from riding along in the limo without a background check, but CiCi's Pizza?  Public.  Place.  I can so totally dine there during regular business hours without your permission.  Just sayin'.

Also, PTA peeps, background check or no, you should be HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS of anyone who asks to ride in a limo with a bunch of elementary school students.  I love taking pictures of my children and their friends being silly as much as the next parent, but here's the thing:  kids being silly tend to be loud, and spastic, and the notion of being in a confined space with a bunch of loud and spastic, "amps-on-eleven-'cause-WE'RE-IN-A-LIMO" kids - well, there's no picture cute enough, you know?   Sane people in their right minds do not sign up for this.

In case you were wondering, sane people in their right minds send their spouse to the school with a camera to capture the departure, then call it a day.)

No doubt the eleven year-old will be dusting off his old business plan:  boys' party limo.  Why should the Sweet and Sassy crowd have all of the fun?  Connor's party limo would have lights, music and three different gaming systems.  Also, the limo would be a hearse, and the interior would have a spook house theme.
Not a bad business plan, actually.

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