Personal Statement

Personal Statement

Friday, May 27, 2011

Things I'm Digging: When High Fashion Goes Tragically Bad

I almost categorized this as a thing I wasn't digging, but here's the skinny - snickering at fashion faux pas is one of my guilty pleasures-slash-bad habits.

Therefore, I am really enjoying the Maison Martin Margiela collection at Neiman-Marcus. Specifically, this ensemble:

Oh. My. Hell. Where to begin?  This looks like (pick one):  (1) something Tootsie would have worn (no, that's not right - it's missing the ubiquitous floppy female bow tie thing); (2) something a ninth-grader might make in home ec - back in the Eighties, when Tootsie was popular; or (3) the "after" shot in a weight loss commercial.  You know, the kind where the people pose in their fat jeans or skirt and then turn sideways to show you just how much room they now have in the waist?  Except nothing that Jenny Craig or Nutrisystem could offer would explain the over-long sleeves.

Then there are the peeptoe ankle boot thingamajigs.  They really make the outfit . . . a whole lot worse.  I love it when stylists introduce ankle boots into a look like this.  The subtext:  "Hey, hey, look at me.  I'm so MODERN.  I'm wearing short, clunky boots with a short dress."  "Modern," I think, being the Latin word for "lacking a floor-length mirror."

Also not helping:  the model's clubbed baby harp seal expression.  Is it an homage to Rocky?  Because she's making a "Yo, Adrienne" face.  And she kind of looks like Adrienne.  Wait - now I'm seeing Scarface.  Maybe it's the tilt of the head.  Very Pacino.

The whole thing is just so tragically bad that I.  JUST. LOVE.  IT.  Not in the sense of wanting to actually OWN it, but - you know.

Want to know what makes it even more awesomely WORSE?  The outfit is actually a jacket and a DRESS, the dress on its own is almost as much of a trainwreck as the jacket, and the two pieces collectively will set you back $2,180.00 (the jacket is $1,340.00, and the dress is $840.00).

Okay, so don't everybody rush out to get their own tremendously overpriced misshapen blazer and dress combo all at once.  But if you do succumb to temptation, use your Neiman's card - if they are doing a four-for-one point promotion, you could almost jump an InCircle level with just the one tragically bad purchase!  How's that for a silver lining?  You know, silver.  Like gray.  Like this misshapen blazer.

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